And Suddenly... There he was....
The lights, the haze, the steaming Toronto venue were the only props he needed. The audience singing For Your Entertainment was his 'opening act', as we introduced him to ourselves.

And, suddenly, there he was.

Amidst the screams of pure joy, pleasure of sight and spirit.
This assembly of humanity that joined together to celebrate and be a part of this night, this moment, erupted with excitement,and love. The anticipation and unconditional energy, mutual respect and that sense of wonder that only comes around once in a lifetime for some of us, coursed through the crowd as we felt that combined jolt of lightening; linking us all together, charging our spirit and soothing our collective soul.
This was easily the most exciting, emotional experience I have been a part of in a very long time.

And I woke up.

The reviews I've read over the past year and a half did not tell me that my mind would go numb.
The videos I've been watching since January 2009 could not possibly capture this essence of euphoria. My heart exploded with a combination of maternal pride, and good old fashioned imbalanced hormonal bliss, as I feasted my eyes and treated my soul to the pure, unadulterated magic of him.

I felt it immediately: that "connection" that everyone talks about, yet can't explain. I fall into that category - I mean the 'talking but can't explain' one.

Perhaps it would be easier to explain it through the thousands and thousands of pairs of eyes that were riveted on the stage, mine included. Perhaps it can be explained through the diversity of the crowd. The young girls behind me who screamed as if the "Cry of the Banshee" was erupting from somewhere within their very souls. The tears, the "OMG-ing" and "I LOVE YOU-ing".
Or perhaps it can be explained through the families who were there; happily buying the t-shirts, dancing down the aisles to their seats, anticipating the memories that were about to take place for their children and themselves. After all, changing the way you hear music doesn't come around often in a lifetime. Something to tell the granchildren in the future - in an "I was there" kind of way.
History is taking place before our eyes and ears... musical history.

Maybe it is better explained through the eyes of the guy in the purple shirt, and tight jeans. Tanned, gorgeous, toned, perfectly groomed, and he looked like he smells great! As he joined his partner in the pit, that subtle, touching of hands, that knowing look they gave to each other, that sense of being free, and belonging. "Start a revolution", create a "personal solution".... we'll get it someday. We'll get it, I promise. 'Don't hide in the night, don't bow to the stars, belong... be a part of it... we will help you' type of celebration.

The ladies decked out in their Toronto Saturday Night glam.... the older couples, walking hand in hand, and smiling; the dads and moms, the sisters and brothers, the nieces and nephews, the cousins, aunts, uncles and grandpas and grandmas... the sons and daughters, and the 'black sheep' of the family all gathered to listen, to watch, to hear.
To hear.
And to feel something that was unique to them that night.

Does that explain it? Does that explain what everyone was trying to say for the past year?

Does anyone know why I yelled "I LOVE YOUR HAIR" into the crowd of screaming teenagers? Do I really think he heard me? And, did that REALLY come out of my mouth???

So, no, I can't explain it yet.

Why did I pack my light up shoes, my rhinestones and thirty different shades of eyeshadow, yet forgot my ticket on my kitchen table at home, and had to have it couriered to me?
And why did I insist on straightening my hair, only to have it fuzz up within 45 seconds of stepping outdoors?
And why did I insist on wearing a pair of ripped jeans, illuminating my muffin top, which has thickened with time and..... well, time.

Did I really need to spread my wrinkle cream so thick? Did I really need to bring a 50 pound bag of things I wasn't going to use.... and I repeat, I forgot my ticket..... and WHY did I do that??!!

Perhaps it is best explained through the kindness of strangers. That feeling of being part of a family, an instant connection, a bond, a pure and simple friendship with someone I've just met.
Perhaps it can be explained best by the lady who stepped back, and let a younger one take her place to see him.... and smiled while doing so. Her heart must have been singing with love, as she watched that child take a picture, and excitedly show her friends, tears and gooky black eyeliner running down her face.

Perhaps it was the guy at the gate, who wolf-whistled me as I strutted past him, in my light up shoes, my ripped white jeans and my muffin top carelessly jiggling in the breeze. Yeah, he knew who I was there for!
Perhaps it was the uncontrollable need to wear lights in my ears, and flashing lights in my pockets, as I happily joined in with the "I LOVE YOU" pandemonium all around me.

How to explain it? And, why did I have this sudden urge for a straight up shot of Drambuie afterwards?

His voice was like a whisper in the wind.... and built itself into a thunderous electrical storm, settling itself down on that cresendo of the rainbow that only he can do.
And here it was. The defining moment.
That 'moment in time'....yes, that moment in time.
For that moment, it didn't matter that my well placed eyeliner was a river of black upon my face, or that my glitter had left a path somewhere between the Amphitheatre and Parking Lot #2. And, really, a muffin top is beautiful, and truly I forgot about it for once in that moment.... and my feet stopped hurting. The cares and worries and stresses in my life ceased to be an issue in that moment.
The lady who mocked me as I waved to the tour bus, shouting "THANK YOU FOR THE MUSIC I LOVE YOU ADAM" didn't phase me at all. In fact, I almost felt sorry for her that she missed the moment. She'll never get it back.

And now I understand why it can't be explained. You just feel it. You are a part of it, whether you go willingly or whether you go kicking and screaming, whether you dance or crawl.... you just feel it.

And for one brief, shining moment, you know that you have been a part of something that is somehow bigger than what you believed possible.... that has fun, and life, and spirit..... and you revel in it, and hang onto it as long as you can.
Just for a moment.

I had the time of my life.... I thank my new friends, and Adam Lambert for something I will remember and cherish for the rest of my life.

This is why I am a Fan.
Forever.
~Karena Proud Glambert # 1013
June, 2010