The Adventures Of Glam Man...
.............................................. A Glamorous Encounter..................................................
Our hero is perched atop a gargoyle, waiting for the perfect time to strike...
It's late, the street is dark except for a lone street lamp making ever shrinking circles of daylight on the pavement below. Buildings loom overhead like lumbering giants. The tops are invisible as they merge with the blackness of night. Two mysterious robed figures emerge from a door just off the sidewalk. They mutter back and forth in almost undetectable whispers. Down the block, hidden high above in shadows, a sleek figure dressed in black dives into oblivion. Glitter fills the air to form a blue board under his feet as he streaks through the night. He rides a silver pipeline of glitter from the rooftops down to the street below. His glamtastic move is made with such precision and speed that he is upon the robed figures before they have any time to react.

Poof, goes a Glitterbomb. The two Hi/Fi executives are left looking blankly at the Glam Man's ebon fingernails. They follow his fingers like cats follow a flashlight shining on a wall. Glam Man points at the ground and they obediently plop into a sitting position. Glam Man points a little to the left, and the two execs promptly scoot over so as to be right under the lone streetlamp. Glam Man sits next to them and begins to apply the eyeliner. As homely as these two trolls are, they look better. After a few minutes of Glamming, Glam Man stands and surveys his work.

Knowing that he has these trolls glamorized, Glam Man looks into the Hi/Fi exects eyes and that’s it for them. They start babbling about how sorry they are. How they will pull the unauthorized album from the shelves. And of course, they will.

Once the Glam Man has you under his spell, nothing can stop you from doing everything possible to make the world a better place. For these two buffoons, It's the start of a long road. They'll go back to their stinky cave-like den and stop all sales of Glam Mans ill gotten music.

For Glam Man, the nights' a success. He rises on his board of glitter. The air around becomes ionized as a pre-curser to the thunderous boom! A lightning bolt explodes the darkness with (1.1) giga-watts! The Glam Man is gone. The trolls are singed and the air smells of burnt hair. They are still to glammed to stand. So they just sit there in their silly stooper. They'll be ok. They just got a harsh glamming, It'll take a while to regain control of their limbs.

These poor trolls later release a statement saying how sorry they are for trying to exploit such a wonderful person. They fall in line with the rest of humanity and join the Starship Lambert. They carry glitter sticks in their pockets. They giggle like school kids when they see anything related to Glam Man.

(Glam Man has glamorized millions with his over the top performances. Imagine our boy focusing his glam ability directly at you. Would you have a chance? Or would you melt faster than the polar ice caps?)

After Glamorizing the two trolls from Hi/Fi, Glam Man Thunderglamms to the North Pole. The Air ionizes as a thundering roar echo's through the endless daylight. Glam Man, instantly appears in an eruption of glitter. The glitter forms a surfboard shaped pedestal about two feet above the ground, Glam Man moves along the white landscape: riding his Glitterboard with the ease of a pleasant dream. Our hero espies a small Igloo. The only place left on earth where he can sit alone for a few moments.

Sitting in his igloo, Glam Man doesn't even compare how all Earth's compass's are pointing at him right now, with how all the hearts of his fans are pointed at him too. But the earths magnetism along with his Glam Man magnetism couple together giving Glam Man vision into the stars. Without fanfare, Glam Man sees to Mars. He Sees the Martian armada Heading towards earth. He sees his day getting a little hectic.

Nothing to do but head straight for the intergalactic war machine. He Thunderglams to the dark side of the moon. Here, he formulates his plan. On Earth, with earthlings, our hero would just wave a hand, glamortize the s*** right out of them, and still have time to go shopping before the show. He ponders, he fidgets, He knows there’s only one thing to do....It's time to Glamortize!

With a thought Glam Man is on Mars! He inserts a copy of his live (Whole Lotta Love) performance into the Mars Wide Web. Within moments there have been millions of hits, then billions. Just like on Earth, the women rule from behind closed doors. Adam's video puts the poor Martian women into a state of Adam Glambertosis. They call all their Mars Men back home. All of Mars has been Glammed. Peace reins for a thousand years thanks to Adam's music. Wow, the Glam Man strikes again!

....................................................Another day in the life.................................................

It's a crispy dawn as Glam Man glammerslams some fruit and granola. Yawning and stretching he looks at the sunrise with the enthusiasm and vigor of a true superhero. He scratches his balls and falls back into his most favored patio poof chair. Sitting out here on his glamtastic deck he can begin to piece the night together.

He remembers getting into that car with a bunch of wild glamberinas. There was that stop for fast food. Not much left in the old noggin about what happened after that. He has a headache that only gets worst as he tries to think about the previous nights events. It's all a foggy mist of jumbled recollections and lost hours. Tommy (Glam Man's trusty psychic rooster sidekick) hands him a glass of iced water, which he downs in one gulp. Taking the cold glass of ice and pressing it against his temple to ease the throbbing, Glam Man begins to piece things together....

After going over the hazy events in his head, Glam Man instructs Tommy to fetch the Glamborghini and meet him in front of the Glam Castle. Tommy goes to the keyholder and notices the keys are missing. Tommy then notices that the car is gone! Now where could it have got off to?

Tommy access' the comterm and finds that a Lamborghini was involved in a hit and run last night. The incident occurred out in front of Adam's...(an upscale eatery devoted to serving Glam Man's favorite dishes) and it would seem 3 vehicles were involved. A black Lamborghini, a Harley, and some kind of floating glitter board.

This helps a little, but not enough. Glam Man was on the glitterboard, but who was driving his car and the Harley? Blasted Tommy! How could a veteran psychic like himself not see this coming and warn Glam Man?

Oh well, nothing to do now but track down where the car went. Tommy checks the GPS signal from the glamborghini. It would seem that it is parked next to that huge HOLLYWOOD sign up on the hill.

Tommy pecks a few keys on the computer and is able to determine that a security guard at last night's show was taken to a local hospital right before the show. He had multiple injuries, none life threatening. His name is Stan Martelli, a part time security guard at the local arena. When he was brought in, he kept muttering something about a fabulous black clad hero riding a floating surfboard made of glitter.

Glam Man twits his minions as to the whereabouts of the Glamborghini. He knows they will retrieve the car. More than likely they will repair it, paint it, detail it, and have it back in the driveway by noon. Glam Man makes a mental note to himself to send those ladies a big shout out on his web site.

So that leaves them with Stan the security guard. He's still in the hospital. He should be able to help Glam Man piece at least a portion of the night together. Unless they have him sedated.

Glam Man cups one of his hands in front of his already blowing mouth. Glitter erupts from his hand to form the most glamtastic hovering glitterboard the universe has ever seen. Glam Man hops aboard. Tommy leaps aboard and takes his customary perch on the front tip of the glitterboard. Glam and Tom head out at furious speed.

There is so much glitter reflecting and dancing around, that this heroic duo are left almost invisible. They are a shining, glittery wave of, "Did you see that?" Nobody knows what they just saw as Glam and Tom streak through the midmorning sky. The few that notice anything are left wondering what the heck?

If the glitter was stripped away, and you were able to slow down time, you'd notice a fine looking rooster leaning over the tip of a the glitterboard like a dog would lean its head out a window to sniff more air. The glitterboard would seem fuzzy around the edges as it shimmered between planes of existence.

But the most outstanding feature of this spectacle would be the Glam Man himself!
No matter what angle you viewed this Eros of a man from, It would seem like the perfect angle. His features so perfect, like Michelangelo had saved his best work for this one superhuman creation! A perfection of chipped away stone. Yes, what a great picture that would make for the old photo album.

The two don't take long before they are hovering above the reported crash site. Glam Man scans the area and notices a ticket to last nights concert. They glide down by this piece of paper and Tommy reaches over the side of the board and pecks it up. He passes the ticket to Glam Man.

The first thing GM notices is that the ticket is unused! Wow, a no show. When was the last time there was a no show at one of his concerts? There seems to be some dried mustard on the back side of the ticket.

About Stan...

Stan Martelli is 35 years old. He's a little overweight. Stan was a natural athlete in high school. He was, and still is, close to his parents. About 4 years ago Stan was working as a security guard at a bank. One morning he was put to the test when a would be bank robber drew a gun and opened fire. Stan was struck in the shoulder. He was in the hospital overnight, but was released the next day. The bullet had passed right through a non-vital area. There was nothing they could do but put a bandage on it and send him home. The robber was not so fortunate.

Stan never returned to the bank job, opting instead to work security at a mall. They didn't give him a gun there, so there would be no way for him to be put in that kind of situation again. The mall job didn't pay all that well, so Stan decided to moonlight at the local arena as a night time security guard. This mostly consisted of basketball games, indoor La-cross, and concerts.

Tonight is going to be a concert night. Stan clocks in an hour early as usual. The only thing he notices that is different about tonight, is the fact that there are thousands of fans already gathering. You would think he was an hour late for work, not an hour early. Stan is sure tonight will go off without a hitch just like the other 50 or so concerts he has already done security for. He knows Adam Lambert is singing tonight, but has never heard him sing before. (Poor Stan).

As the concert draws close Stan looks out from behind the stage. The fans have on some wild costumes for this concert. He notices a lot of glitter and far out hair. Everyone seems to be behaving themselves. Yes, this will be an easy $88 tonight.

Stan moves back along the stage and slips out into an adjoining corridor. From here he can see Adam's dressing room. Stan has a few minutes to kill and decides to go ask Adam for an autograph. Suddenly, a huge green alien bursts through the dressing room door. It turns towards Stan and starts running right at him. Following close behind, Glam Man is riding a wave of glitter.

The alien, which looks like your run of the mill alien, except for bigger and more ferocious, never seems to notice Stan. Poor Stan is steamrolled and ends up prone on the floor. He looks up just in time to see a Glamtastic Glitterboard soar right over his head at furious speed.

As Stan gets to his feet and gives chase, he hears the sound of little feet pitter pattering next to him. Stan looks down to see a fine looking rooster running at full speed. The rooster also seems to be in the chase. Tommy looks up at Stan, winks, and hits another gear. Now Stan is giving chase to an alien, a glamorous rock star on a glitterboard, and one fine looking rooster.

What’s that smell?…

Our Glam Man is back stage in his dressing room, putting on makeup and styling his hair. There is a knock at the door. “Yes?” “Special Delivery.” “Can You slide it under the door?” “Sorry, wont fit. Should I just set it outside your door?” “Na… I’ll be right there.” Our hero is in the middle of glamming up. He looks to see Tommy snoring in the corner. (Grumble) “Just a sec.” Adam puts his curler, crimper, straightener, and mousse on the table and starts for the door.

As GM opens the door, he can’t help but recognize the foul stench that only Mars men give off when in the heat of battle. The odor is a cross between a skunk's ass, and a pile of dog s***. GM knows this smell all to well from dealing with men from Mars before. Adam instinctively ducks. An alien sword just misses his head as he does a reverse hip thrust and is beside this brute. The swing at Adams head, and resulting follow through, land this giant alien in the middle of the dressing room.

Grakzog’s story…

It wasn’t long ago, Grakzog had a good job making wind shields. (The big kind that protect Mars cities from the fierce Martian Sand Storms.) His wife of 30 years was just entering her first year of egg laying. There was calm across the Martian landscape, except for the one thing on all Martians minds, “ Kill the Earthlings!”
The folks from Mars are mad because they live on a dying planet, and must conserve and save. While we on earth live on a lively planet with enough for everyone, they have long looked at us through Martian telescopes, and envied this water filled world. In their eyes, we don’t deserve this planet.

When the day came to attack, Grakzog was in their legions, on his way to earth. There was blood in his eyes and he was starting to stink. Then the call came through to head back home. Everyone was surprised, but did as they were told. When he returned home, Grakzog saw that his wife was in a trance like state. (Adam Glambertosis). Seems that she had layed her first egg while he was on his way to Earth. But when Grakzog tried to get close to the egg, his wife would hiss, “ This egg is for Adam!” (Adam? Who’s Adam?)
After a while Grakzog was able to piece together just what was happening. And what was happening was he was going to have to wait another 300 years before he got any nooky, as that is the interval between gestation periods for Mars women.

Grakzog would have someone’s head for this outrage! There was no way he was waiting 300 years for nooky! He stole a small spaceship and headed for earth. This Adam Lambert was going to be missing his head pretty soon. As Grakzog neared Earth, he switched on his cloaking device and tapped into the Internet. Using all the tricks 1000 years of life can bring, Grakzog is able to get right to the precipice of his green revenge!

He knocks on the dressing room door, and gives his best delivery man impersonation. This Adam creature is taking to long. Grakzog's green stink begins to flow. The doorknob finally turns, the anticipation of decapitation fills his senses. He brings his mighty off world sword to a ready position.

The door opens, Grakzog swings his hefty sword. Damn, a swing and a miss. Not to mention that his momentum has carried him into the room past this Adam character. He turns to swing again, but is caught off guard. Glam Man kicks his ankle and this buffoon is soon on his back looking up. Poof, goes a glitter bomb. Grakzog looks into the Glam Mans eyes and feels himself starting to like this fierce alien. Hell he might even invite this awesome creature back for dinner with the wife.

“Hold onto your self!”, Grakzog tells himself. Grakzog has to get out of here before he is completely glammed and has no chance to escape. With a mighty effort against his own will, Grakzog manages to roll over to his knees, and make a break for the door.

Tommy is awakened from a great dream involving a road and a hot hen. There is a ruckus between Glam Man and an alien. Tommy jumps on the back of the green giant and tries to peck, but is brushed aside in a sweep of an arm and finds himself ass over teakettle in a twisted array of feathers.

The melee moves toward the door, and Grakzog is able to burst into the hallway.
Grakzog wonders if a piece of azz is really worth this much fuss. 300 years isn’t that long. He can wait. He runs down the hallway and out the back stage door.

Once on the street, Grakzog makes his way towards his hidden spaceship. If he can only make it to the ship, he can get off this cursed blue planet, and away from that Glamorizing explosion of looks and talent! What would his friends think when they found out he had run away from a puny Earthling. Maybe he would just say he went on vacation.

.

The chase…

Adam and crew are gaining on the alien, and Grakzog knows it. His only chance might be to hop in this black car just ahead. Of course it’s Glam Mans car. Grakzog use’s his remote entry/starter and has the car door open with the engine running just in time to dive in and haul azz. The alien isn’t the best driver, but manages to get this super hot rod moving down the street at a very high rate of speed.

Tommy is able to hop onto the glitter board and take his customary position at the helm. Adam and Tommy are able to keep pace, but damn that car is fast! Stan realizes he is about out of the chase. He sees a biker dude about to hop on a Harley. Only one thing to do. He elbows the biker and takes over the controls. The biker is left yelling some profanity as Stan motors after an alien and a rock star. Stan might have given up on the chase, but how often do you chase an alien? So he speeds after the Lamborghini and the glitter board.

There’s a big crowd in front of Adam’s Fine Dining tonight. Sometimes the line is so long, some patrons are left outside and never get to go in and eat. Hot dog venders naturally pick up on this and stake out the area on busy nights. One such stand was heading across the street for a prime spot just as Grakzog turned the corner. The Lamborghini careens off the hot dog stand and barely misses the crowd.

Tonight is a busy night at Adams. Two diners come out waving their concert tickets to a jubilant crowd. Everyone is happy for the lucky concert goers. Adam’s gives out door prizes, and these two were lucky enough to win a pair of tickets, but are unlucky as the Lamborghini bounces off the hotdog stand sending dogs, pickles, and mustard flying everywhere. Both are covered in condiments as the car and some weird glitter thing take off down the street. People aren’t sure what they just saw. The ticket winners seem to have lost one of their tickets. But no one is hurt. Just behind this spectacle, a dude on a Harley rounds the corner and slips on some of the mustard. He manages to stay upright and follows in the pursuit. They crowd is left dazed and confused, but none the worse for wear.

Grakzog makes his way to the spaceship, which is docked behind the HOLLYWOOD sign. Just as Grakzog exits the car, he notices a Harley bearing down on him. Grakzog gets steamrolled and Stan is thrown from the Harley. Stan has a certain satisfaction about repaying the alien for earlier, even though he is currently swimming in an ocean of pain and delirium. He looks up to see Adam hovering above him. The Glam Man leans over and sings to Stan. Stan slips away to dream of Rock Gods and Aliens. Stan wakes later in the evening to find that he is in a comfy hospital bed. But try as he might, he can’t remember how he got there. He seems to remember something about a hero on a glitter board, but nothing more.

After seeing to Stan, Glam Man hops from his glitter board and tends to the unconscious Grakzog. Slowly, the alien regains his wits. Glam Man finishes with the glamming and sends the remorseful alien back to Mars. Just before Grakzog takes off, Adam hands him a picture of Clay Aiken, and re-assures the beast that all he has to do is show his wife the picture of Clay and it would counter the effects of his wife's case of Adam Glambertosis.

Glam Man looks at his watch and notices he has 2 minutes before show time. He grabs Tommy and Thunderglams backstage. Wow, one minute till show time. Adam looks down at Tommy and says, ”Sorry my little friend.“ Tommy knows what’s coming, he is a psychic chicken after all. With a wave of the Glam Mans hand, Tommy checks out for the night. He also forgets all about the earlier ruckus. It wouldn’t be wise to let Tommy or anybody else, know about big green aliens. It’s never easy being a super hero.

The show goes off without a hitch. The fans never know how close the show was to being cancelled. The after party is one of the best ever. There is partying till wee hours of the morning. Everybody has the time of their lives. As the party concludes and everybody says their goodbyes. Adam gives everyone a big hug and kiss. Just another day in the life of GLAM MAN!

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.....................................................ÔpęŋĩŋģﻫŃīĝħţ...........................................................

It's a pompous affair of glitter and love. The house lights are dimmed and a huge roar begins to shake the arena as 25,000 maniacs all scream in harmonious glee. The much anticipated opening tour of the Glam Man seems to have manifested itself in a sea of glittery fans. Everyone has forgotten about lifes everyday grind. Smiles and giggles are the common theme.

It's been rumored that there will be sexy dancers and snake charmers, but nobody knows for sure about tonights stage show. It's been a very closely guarded secret. What these crazy fans know for sure is they are about to be the guinie pigs for a whole new form of entertainment. The arena is a flowing cornucopia of carnel inclinations. There's a buzz in the air to say the least.

Tonight promises to be a marriage of music and theater. A futuristic cauldren of mystery and suspense. Those lucky enough to be in attendance are gauranteed a show of unmatched vision and creativity. And it's about to unfold right before their eyes and ears!

Just as the roar of anticipation reach's a chrishendo, a flash goes off somewhere in the rafters. The crowd is silenced as the Glam Man seems to materialize out of thin air. Light reflects in all directions as the fierce one rides a wave of glitter towards the stage. The hushed crowd regains composer and roars anew. A marvelous Interaction begins with the crowd screaming and waving. Glam Man races over the top of ogling Glamberts, as 1000's of camera's flash. A strobe effect takes place in this stop motion paradigm and everyone has a front row seat!

The front of the stage opens up to reveal what could only be described as a starship docking bay. Lights and lasers outline a runway as our glittery alien takes aim at the stage. Glam Man swoops down riding his signature Glitterboard. Huge wind machines on either side of the stage create a vortex over the crowd. Smoke begins swirling out of the docking bay. Hair and clothes flutter. Eyes reflect a glamorous figure streaking though showering flecks of light. Our main man slows just above the third row as explosions thunder through a bedazzeled building of onlookers. The glitterboard docks with the spacestation and Glam Man leaps from his perch to alight gracefully on the large stage.

A gloss black mic stand shoots up through the stage as Adam turns to face his adoring fans. He grabs the mic stand and straddles it like never before. Slowly he bends over to the mic. The crowd has a united Adamgasm and the world is forever changed!

Back in the dressing room there's an evil crackle. Dr. Chaos, posing as a makeup artist, has just secured enough of Adams hair to make thousands of clones. His sinister thoughts of world domination are one step closer to fruition. He opens the door and slinks down the hall. Stepping into the nights air, he looks back. Yes, soon it will be Dr. Chaos and his clones glamming the worlds population. He turns back into the night and lets out one more unforced crackle.

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.............................................Å Bąđ Ďąy Fôŗ Ĉļǿŋęş! .....................................................

Beady eyes peer through a flask of unknown liquid as a sinister crackle erupts from deep underground. It is none other than the evil Dr. Chaos! For years he has been trying to clone the Glam Man. After countless failures, Dr. Chaos is close to the prize! The crackling of this evil genius is suddenly lost in a cascading shower of broken glass. Peering up from his dark experiment, the doctor sees his half witted assistant in the middle of wrecking 3 weeks worth of experiments.

Gimpy is no common assistant. Although he is one of many failed clone attempts. (Most failures end up in the clone recycling bin.) Gimpy is special. He is the first of three clones that actually lived. Gimpy has short legs and size 54 EEE feet. His arms are longer than the whole rest of him, which stands about 5 feet tall. Somehow his Cyclops eye ended up on the bottom of his chinless face. A small beak like feature surrounded by boils, hangs loosely from one side of his misshapen head. Although he uses this beak to eat, it leaves him useless in a conversation. It seems that his large elephant like ear flops any which way it wants, as it sits precariously atop his hairless head. This large ear doesn’t seem to help with hearing either, which is exemplified by him not listening as the doctor screams for him to stop wrecking the lab. Tripping and flailing, Gimpy is as useless as a used piece of chewing gum. The scene would almost be funny, except for the fact that he is about to wreck though another experiment.

Without remorse the doctor pulls out his clone melting ray gun and fires two shots at his hapless assistant. Gimpy flails his gangly arms one last time as he is put out if his misery. Almost comically his last lurch creates a domino effect on the next table of experiments. Dr. Chaos is helpless as he watches another months worth of work go crashing to the floor.

Dr. Chaos screams for his other assistant!

A figure looking alot like the Glam Man enters the lab. His name is Simon. Simon would be the perfect clone except that he has no originality. Simon can only repeat what he hears in a droll monotone. Dr. Chaos yells for this Glam Man faxcimilie to clean up the mess. Simon slurs out, "Cleeeen uuuuup theeee meeeeeesssss." as he slowly starts to clean glass from the lab floor.

The only other clone that lived is curently posing as an Adam impersonator. He was almost a success, but unfortunately he can't sing a lick. Dr. Chaos knows that without the voice of an angel, none of his clones will be able to glam anyone. So he sent Kenny out as an Adam impersonator to help pay for the huge expenses it takes to be a super villain.

Dr. Chaos is not daunted by this unfortunate turn of events in the lab today. If this next clone is a success, he will be able to make thousands of clones! Luckily None of todays mishaps have done anything to hamper the conclusion of this evil minded experiment. The crackle returns as Dr. Chaos continues with his morbid thoughts of world domination!

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....................................................ŤǿmmŷşﻫQǜěśť ........................................................

There's a stark silouette of a rooster on the weathervane as the first rays of dawn glisten through the upper branchs of autumn colored trees. The barnyard is quiet except for the rustling of feathers as Tommy assumes his customary perch on an old fencepost. Tommy lets out an incredible C0CK A DOODLE DOO! Startled breys come from the corral as the horses scatter. The hens all lay eggs simultaneously. Tommy has always been proud of his morning voice. But today Tommy let go with his most forcefull GOOD MORNING WORLD ever. For today will be the last time Tommy will be there to wake everyone up. Tommy's psychic visions of the Glam Man have become so prevailant, that he must act on them. So he hops off the fencepost and heads off on the quest of a lifetime! Farmer Brown clicks on the porch light just in time to see some fine looking rooster tail feathers growing faint in the distance as Tommy heads down the lane to clash with destiny.

Last night Tommy had a vision. He saw A great Glammed figure riding a glitter board. He saw himself at the front of that board, leading the way into oblivion. There were glitterbombs going off everywhere and he was surrounded by clones. Tommy had been having these visions of the Glam Man for some time. But it wasn't until recently that Tommy was able to get a clear view of what his visions meant. The last three nights have been nothing but visions of the future. Tommy must find a way to Los Angeles.

(Little does our little sidekick know, a sinister crackle fills the dark cavern of Dr. Chaos' lair!...For Dr, Chaos has been having psychic visions too! His visions have been more sinister of course. They also have become more powerfull lately. So much so that today is the day Dr. Chaos is setting out for Los Angeles.)

By the time Tommy reaches the end of the lane, he's wondering just how he's going to make it all the way from Wyoming to California. But Tommy's a determined Rooster, he puts his beak to the wind and heads for the nearest town.

After a couple miles, Tommy comes to a railroad crossing. A train is moving slowly down the tracks. Tommy notices a hobo making a break for the train. The hobo makes it aboard and looks back at Tommy. (Is he waving at Tommy to hurry up?)... Yes he is! Tommy begins running after the train. The hobo reaches out and with just his fingers, makes a (speed it up) signal. Tommy kicks it into 4th gear and catch's up with the open boxcar. The hobo reaches down a little further and is able to snatch up Tommy. This new friend of Tommys sets him gently on the floor next to the door. He's an odd fellow with many rail riding miles under his belt. He looks at Tommy and says, "Whew!... just like in my vision, there you were!" Then thoughtfully he adds,"You even have the same majestic tail feathers I saw in my vision!"

And so the quest begins...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>One Morning On A Train>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

One morning on a train...
There's a gentle sway to the boxcar as it saunters down the track. Wind swishes through a half open door, bringing with it, the smell of morning. Hundreds of forged steel wheels grind out a rythmatic overture to the days events. All of which, go unnoticed.

It's a Mexican Stare Down. Two unlikely travelers sharing a ride with destiny, eye each other in an attemp to see beyond stoic looks and false fronts. Ever since hopping the train, Tommy has had avery bad feeling about this crinkley old hobo.

Why did this human help a chicken hop aboard a train? What would the motivation be? At the time, Tommy was just happy to make it aboard. But after a few minutes of Dr. Chaos' relentless stare, Tommy began to question his decision to leave the farm.

Of course, there was no way for Tommy to know about Dr.Chaos. But something insideTommy went off like a 5 alarm fire. This human was bad news, that much was clear.

What a crappy start to the day for Dr. Chaos. He was late getting started because of a misshap at the lab. Then his car takes a shiiter about 10 miles inot his journey. The doc wasn't about to let that deter him, he spotted a slow moving train just ahead and was able to jump aboard an open boxcar.

Thats when the old man noticed a chicken trailing the boxcar. The chicken looked strangely like this chicken from Dr. Chaos' visions. ( In his visions, this fricken chicken was always with the fierce one, making world domination a tuff chore.) It seemed that luck had smiled on the doctor.
He would figure out how to dispose of this vision chusher once he had him aboard.

And so, the staring began. Each looking for that fatal weakness that would insure victory. No quick movements. Nothing to tip off the opposition of what was being planned. Tommy had a plan. Get the hell off this train before he became chicken soup.

Chickens are fast. Dr. Chaos knows the chicken is closer to door than he himself is. He scoots an inch. Did the bird see? Another half inch. Another. A few more scoots and he will have closed the gap enough to make a leap for the door. For it is not Dr. Chaos' plan to try for the chicken. If he can close the door, he can then take his time dispatching of this vision invader. Savoring the slow painfull cries of a dominated soul. Nummy.

Without blinking, Tommy watches A lithfull hobo slowly inch towards the boxcar door. Gazes are locked in an eternal fight between good and evil. Then Dr. chaos looks toward the door as he reaches for the handle.

Thats when Tommy makes his break. For that slight moment, the old mans attention is turned towards the door. Tommy dives between the doc's legs and flutters to a nice three point landing upon some soft grass. Dr. Chaos is left screaming and crackling as the train picks up speed an slowly disappears from sight.

No need to jump after the fricken chicken, his only chance was to get the door closed. Seeing as that failed, Dr. Chaos knew he would just have to wait till their paths crossed again. After some serious sulking, Dr. Chaos let out a crackle laugh. Now he knew why the chicken crossed the road...To fuuck with the master plan of a brilliant evil doctor. Foul bird!