Hi Baby,

I haven't been here in a really, really long time. Or at least that's how it feels. I miss you, as always. I'm afraid that will never change. Not going to read anything, this is just a hit and run post because I just could not not let you know that you are on my mind. Like everyday you are on my mind but I have removed myself from everything that relates to you so I don't really know what you've been up to except I did just inadvertently find out something but...nevermind that...it made me sad but it doesn't change how much I love you.

So, doll baby, I am just here for a few moments to tell you that I wish you luck today. I am thinking about you constantly. I don't like to lose. I know you don't like to lose either so even though you may be gracious about possibly not winning today, I know it will still hurt you if you don't but what you have said in the past about not winning is still absolutely true. This is just one more step in your journey. I bet if I looked back in this thread, I have written that I expected you to be winning a Grammy. I don't know if I thought it would be this year but you have been nominated which is truly amazing. It hasn't been all that long for you to get so far. Sometimes it seems long. It's been two years for me of loving you and following every twist and turn of your life and there have been so many in that time.

I have gone off to concentrate for a change on my life instead of yours but I carry you everywhere I go in my heart. You are, honestly, never out of my mind & heart and sometimes I don't understand why that is because I've been so out of touch with all your day to day events. It doesn't seem to matter at all. I feel as much for you as I ever have & nothing seems to effect that...not time...not distance...not even not knowing.

The one thing I would say that I do regret is that I found out after the fact that you had done some TV interviews which I totally missed. First time in two years. I think I have almost every single thing recorded & saved. I'll look for the reruns & maybe I can get them somewhere down the line. I don't want to read what others are saying about you but I do want to hear what you have to say so I guess I will have to make a little more effort to stay in touch with that aspect of your life.

Anyway, like I said & I truly hope you know, I hope you win today. I don't even know what the category is but I have heard some of the other people in the category & its some stiff competition. If I'm completely honest, I think Bruno Mars will win which is ironic since it is his song that I dedicated to you when it came out. Because, baby, you are amazing...just the way you are. You are beautiful. You are my boo boo bear. I'm crazy in love with you still. I hope you are well. I miss you like crazy every single day of my life.

BUT if I do see you again & you see me and I'm pretty sure that will happen...just don't know when, I will be better than ever & I am sure you will be also. So if you don't win, don't take it too hard when you are alone. I know you will show a cheerful face to the outside world no matter how it goes. Just remember this is just one more step on your journey and if not today...that day will come in the not so distant future that you will be walking away with that Grammy and I'm absolutely sure it won't just be one...you have many to come in your future.

I love you, my beautiful, beautiful, oh so sweet & evil boy! Always & forever. I'll always be around if you need me. Want me. Just whistle. Just like I've always told you, you know how to find me & I'll always be happy to hear/see you. Whatever the form may be...It will always make me smile because I love you with all my heart. I'm very, very, very proud of you.

Take good care of yourself babydoll. I don't know what you are doing these days & truthfully, I don't want to know right now, just be good to yourself, love yourself, protect yourself, & be happy.

This was supposed to be short and I don't even think I said exactly what I intended but I don't really know what I'm thinking these days or what I intend in regards to anything lately.

God bless you, my darling sweet precious doll baby. I wish you always the sweetest of dreams & all the love your heart can hold. You're amazing baby, just the way you are...so don't go changing...unless you want to please me...kidding...totally kidding.

I love you always & forever & a day, my precious love. Until we meet again...where you go, I go...even if it's just in my heart. xo...

P.S. Kick ass, baby! I know that you will!!!

Hello Adam,

I didn't intend to log in here today but I had to do something. I am leaving a song for you since I'm here. I hope all is well. I'm sure that it is. Enjoy your show tonight & tomorrow. I'm sure that you will. Congratulations on absolutely everything. It was quite a year for you, huh? I love you. Stay well. Wish I was able to be there tonight & tomorrow. It's sad but I'll survive. I wish you always the sweetest of dreams. I wish you a happy & blessed holiday season & a wonderful New Year to come. I take you with me wherever I may go in my heart. If you need me...you know the rest...I love you always. Take care of yourself, precious doll baby! xo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ermUldHgfOk&feature=related

Well, Adam, I'm on my way to L.A.!!! For both of your concerts and so I must make this quick, Good night, and see you soon!!!!!!

p.s. Hi AdamsEpic!

I woke up this morning, no lie, knowing that I love you. I am in love with you. And I doubt that I can escape you. I don't think that is ever going to change. Have a great show tonight. Wish I saw you on Wednesday...I mean, I saw you but I was so upset, I don't remember anything about it...that's sad. I wish I saw you & was able to look you in the eye & see you like in Albany. I thought I would have been able to but I wasn't even close. Sweet dreams. Travel safely. God bless you. And, yes, of course, I miss you like crazy. xo...

P.S. I decided that I am going to do my will this week on legalwhatever.com because you will most likely be the one that kills me either directly or in some round about way but it will still ultimately be your doing...anyway, I am going bequeath my ashes to you for all eternity...I expect to spend the rest of your life on your bedroom end table...preferably cherry or marble. I will have them delivered to you in either a Tang canister or a Hello Kitty cookie jar...I haven't decide yet. So keep that in mind at all times. So be good!

P.S.S. In all seriousness, the wonderful, sweet, brave spirit, AdamSmiles loved you so much. Just thinking about her puts everything back into perspective. When all is said & done...the only thing that matters, is love...the only thing that remains, is love...the only thing that lasts, is love. You had hers. You know you have always had mine.

I didn't receive anything from you. I don't know why because I always have in the past. Maybe someone read what I wrote & they didn't realize the messages were being forwarded to e-mail so they turned that function off. If I get a message, I promise I will let you know.

Everything isn't okay & I don't expect to be back here anymore. I hope all is well with you. You are very sweet & I appreciate it very much. If I don't hear from you let me wish you a very happy holiday & a blessed New Year.

I only logged in to message you. I won't be back though.

Take care of yourself.

Bon soir, Adam baby boo!

I don't know where you are today? I never know where you are. I actually thought you might be home already or on your way at the very least. Someone just posted that you are still in Paris. You dog! Wish I was there...with YOU!

In any case, you should be coming home to the US very soon & I was assuming you would be going home to LA but now that they said you were still in Paris & you have to perform in the NYC area on Wednesday maybe that doesn't make the most sense. I'm not sure because other than that performance, I don't know what your future schedule is.

I watched a little bit of your THS today and you were always just so adorable. You were never ugly or even anything close to that so I don't know what you were talking about and never fat either. So, blah, blah, blah...

I meant to tell you that one day last week, Thanksgiving week, they played WWFM on CNN Headline News coming back from commercial & another day soon after, they played FYE which always catches me off guard because I never expect to hear you. I'm such a goofball that I actually taped it but I think I have to erase it because first of all...it's idiotic for me to keep it at this point & second of all, you have already eaten up all the space on my DVR anyway & I have to get a new one...thank you very much!

I was thinking this morning, that I think that I have recorded every single TV performance and/or interview of yours for the past 1 1/2 years. The only things I didn't record are like little clips on shows like ET or something similar because it's always last minute, most of the time I don't know about it & don't watch those shows & they are always extremely short...that's a lot of hours, sonny boy! Or is that sunny boy? I think sunny boy actually suits you better so that's what it will be.

I have a million things to tell you but I don't feel like it right now. I am going to send you a message...for real this time...last time I said it but didn't do it...to your AI address because I won't post it on here. I guess I should join your fan club eventually? I wonder if I could message you on there. I'm kind of doubting it because I think I tried during those few trial period days & it wouldn't go through. Who knows. I'll send it where I know it goes somewhere...whether you read it or not is another story.

I will tell you that when you do finally do get home and can relax a bit, you have to record or at least watch this new show on Animal Planet. It started since you have been gone. It's called Fatal Attractions...you have got to watch it. It's the best show ever!!! Every show is about some lunatic person who decides they are going to keep some type of exotic animal as a pet in there home or on their property...most often right in their home. And what do you think happens? It's really no surprise because once you watch one or two, you know what's coming on the others so this won't ruin anything for you. In every show, inevitably, the pet/s kill/s the owner. It's so great and so gruesome. It's not like it just swats their head off or anything in one fell swoop, oh no, that would not be show worthy & wouldn't fill up an entire episode. Something horrible always happens. It's my absolute favorite show now but I've seen all the episodes so now I have to wait for new ones. Did you ever see the movie Grizzly Man? Well, if you haven't, you absolutely must, it's a great movie. I bet you anything that this new animal planet show is partially inspired by that movie because it's basically shorter versions of that movie only with a variety of different wild animals. I mean, how many times can you watch a man get torn limb from limb by a Grizzly Bear before it gets old? After a while, you're like, just rip his arms off already and get on with it...*yawns*

This show you get a little bit of everything. Best show on TV! I had alot more to say about it but suffice it to say, you are a fool if you don't record that show because that, my friend, is true entertainment...right up my alley!

Okay, I didn't mean to write so much. I'll write the other thing later or tomorrow. Oh, and I still don't know if I will be coming to see you on Wednesday. I wanted to but then I tried to sell my tickets but I didn't, so now I'm just trying to figure out what to do because they were pretty expensive & I'm an idiot. Neither is mutually exclusive to this conversation by the way. I just bought the tickets because I thought if I didn't I might not be able to get them so, personally, I think I paid way too much. It would seem like borderline too much if it was just you but it would still be worth it but once I thought about how little you would be performing, how much I didn't care if I saw a lot of the other people...I changed my mind...ramble, ramble, ramble... I think it's your turn to rant on twitter. You haven't had a good ramble or rant on twitter in quite a while. I always miss them but I usually see the frenzy it causes eventually. So, I may or may not be there. At the concert that is...little tangent there...confused myself...the rant part has nothing to do with the concert...lol...I have no idea how long you will be on...performing at the show...not on twitter...ranting or rambling...take your pick...I'm an idiot. That's my final verdict. Whatever. Just hand me a pistol...

Now, the real & only reason I logged on right now was to post this for you...imagine all that crap above was just fluff? Imagine if I actually logged in to write something substantial...just think about that for a while.

Anyway, so every morning I watch the news & every morning I watch Robin Meade, who I love & it turns out she has a very nice singing voice. Well, this song is played everyday at some point, numerous times since right before Thanksgiving & it always makes me think of you. So, in honor of you coming home, having a full body scan that, hopefully, someone will forward to me, pets eating owners for my own personal entertainment while you've been away leaving me completely unentertained, you arriving home to the US of A safely & in one recognizable piece...I leave you with this. I love you. I always will. Sweet dreams, cutie pie baby lamb! xo...

I'm very happy that you are coming home at last!!!! Congratulations on all your success this past year! Another year has almost bitten the dust. What the hell am I still doing here typing in this damn thread?

I love you...always...xo...

Welcome Home, precious baby doll!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqfYq8ZonNE

BTW, your crotch is in my face again as I type this...per usual...I hardly even notice anymore. Your crotch is everywhere these days...I mean that both literally & figuratively!.

Kurst,

I don't know if you will see this but I wanted to let you know that I'm still alive. I just haven't been around alot lately and I never joined Adam's Fan Club. I hope you won't delete me because I probably will eventually.

It's sweet of you to be looking for me since I really only just met you. If you want me to e-mail you or something, just send it to me in a private message on the fan club site & it will be forwarded to my e-mail account.

I hope all is well with you. I wish you the happiest & loveliest holiday season! Stay well. Your messages made me smile. Thank you very much for that, I needed it.

xo...

P.S. Which is more than I can say about Lambert!

Hello darling,

I want to say that I am sorry I was so sad that I wasn't going to be in Paris to see you on your first visit ever that I didn't tell you how happy I am for you because I am so happy for you. I'm glad you finally had the opportunity to visit my favorite city in the world & not only visit but be performing. How amazing is that? So, just know that I am thrilled for you about everything great that is happening to you & all the great experiences you are so blessed to be living in the last year & a half. It couldn't happen to a sweeter more talented person. There is no cuter person either, so there's always that!

This song will always remind me of Paris because I saw the movie it was from in Paris. It was fun. It is fun going to the movies in Paris. If you get the chance you should go. Anyway, here you go:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1BXTqRTGCw

Have a great show tonight. I know you will. I can't physically be there this time but my heart most certainly is there with you, loving you & wishing you happiness & love always. Without love what have we got? xo...

P.S. I will be seeing you in person in not so long so I have that to cheer me up.

Hey baby,

I wasn't going to post anything tonight because I honestly am very depressed that I am not in France right now. I am so sad that I am not going to see you perform for your first time in Paris. My heart is truly broken. I'm sure you would think that was ridiculous but Paris & you are my two favorite things and I literally feel sick to my stomach every time I think about missing you while you are there. So, I am going to disappear for a while so I don't have to hear about anything while you are there or see any of the videos or pictures because I am really starting to cry just typing this and I can't stop now. It's pathetic. It's pathetic that I'm not there.

Baby, have a wonderful time. It's a beautiful magnificent city. If I had my wish, I would take you on the best tour of Paris ever. I wish I really could do that with you. I'm really depressed over this, I have to go now. I love you. Enjoy yourself. Stay safe. You're going to be so happy while you are there because it is just so breathtakingly beautiful just like you.

With tears rolling down both cheeks, I wish you a wonderful & joy filled trip. Say "Hi" to the little prince for me. I love you madly. Heartbroken but still madly. Sweetest of dreams always, precious one. xo...

Beautiful Adam,

It was sweet to see you so happy tonight. I only saw fever & the choking episode but you are darling. I love you so much. Stay safe & well, my precious doll baby. xo...

For you because it's true:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkulyWMNYbg

And this, for you, short & sweet for once. I love you. I plain & simply do...love you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MoUvpvYFMY&feature=related

I wish you the sweetest of dreams tonight & every night, my beautiful boy. xo...

Okay, I'm outta here. I see turmoil continues in that same thread. I can't read it, it's too frickin' long. I'll leave you that book list eventually. Just wanted to leave you with one more thing before I take off for a good long while.

And, btw, I figured out why the word masturbate seemed so strange today...I spelled it wrong, as for where that word came from, I still have no idea and I'm too lazy to look it up. Maybe I'll ask my step-mother at Thanksgiving, she knows Latin. That should make for an interesting conversation at the dinner table. If I ever brought that up in front of everyone, trust me, a brawl would ensue. I'll have to ask her when we are alone.

So I love you. You know it. It's been a long time I've been loving your cuteness. Stay well. Take care of yourself. Be careful. Travel safely. Anything else I can NAG you about like an old fishwife? Oh, yeah, one more thing...COME HOME TO ME NOW...OR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE...in ONE healthy beautiful & delicious piece. Love you like crazy now & forever, booboo face. Always. xoxo...

P.S. Stop playing with yourself & come play with me! We can mutually play together. Take that anyway you'd like and I will do the same. I'm mad for/because of/ & at you...only kidding about the last one. A kazillion bazillion kisses & hugs only for you.

So without further ado..or is it adieu, or is it a deux? Just do & I will too. xo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqdWTeXWvOg

EDITED TO ADD:

I love how whenever I'm reading on here, your crotch is, inevitably, in my face. Which reminds me, I've decide it should be "a deux"...as in masturbation for two. Come play with me damn it! I'm bored & you're beautiful. xo...

Hi Baby, wherever you may be, I hope you are well & safe. It's been so long since I was here that I couldn't remember my password. It's latish. I'm tired. It was an overall aggravating day. Nice long time no see greeting, huh?

Sorry about that. I intended to post a bunch of books for you that I think you would really love. I'll do it tomorrow at some point if my PC sees fit to cooperate which it hasn't much lately.

I miss you. I love you. I wish I was going to see you soon. I'll always be around somewhere waiting for you. You know where to find me if you really want to. I want you to...find me. You are forever embedded in my mind, my heart, & my soul. I carry you with me where ever I go. Always.

So, I leave you with this thought until I return. It's true. Always has been. Always will be. Never forget, okay? Stay well, pretty baby, always wishing you the very sweetest of dreams. I love you madly, as always, forever. Night night, darling. xo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knVbfhmME1g

P.S. Now you GET in YOUR kitty pen! And don't even talk to me about that eye remark. Pffft...

P.S.S. While I'm at it, I may as well remind you not to forget this either because this is also always true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np_Y740aReI

Bye Bye Baby, Baby Goodbye! xo...

Haven't been here for awhile! Glad you're able to get some time at home, Adam! Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, and I do mean that literally, lmao!

Nice idea for the topic

Many people in Russia love you!!!!!

Hello Adam,

My love, I have neglected my good night thread but I have been wishing you sweet dreams in other ways. I don't know where you are now. I think you are flying to Japan or something similar tonight. I missed everything from last night. It was too sad for me to watch. I didn't get to see you nearly as much as I thought that I would. It pretty much sucks but I did see you twice when you could see me too and I loved seeing you. I especially loved Albany. You made me laugh. You laughed. You were beautiful and adorable. I met Neil later, too bad you weren't with him at the time. He was really adorable, funny, and sweet although he never did unblock me even though he said he would but that's okay. I told him that he was not as tall as I expected and he told me I was standing on an incline...lol...he was absolutely right, I was...so I went and stood next to him instead. That was the steepest incline I've even seen in a theater, actually, it was kind of strange. He made me laugh. That was cute.

I think Neil is going with you on the international leg of the tour also so that's good. He'll watch out for you and I'm sure he's ready to kick anybody's ass for any reason. I like that about him. He won't let anyone hurt you. I wouldn't either so good! Well, honey, I feel sad that you are leaving the country yet again. I feel sad that I missed so much of your tour. I feel sad that I saw so little of you. But I'm happy for you and I know you seem to be happy so...that's good.

I don't know how much I will come here to say good night but while you're away, I will probably just pop in and touch base here and there. You are always on my mind and never out of my heart. I kind of wish I didn't feel that way because it kind of hurts all the time but nothing I can do about it, I guess. I'm still totally confused about everything and never know what's going on. It's uncomfortable.

Anyway, the most important thing is that you have a safe trip. All I want is for you to come home again, healthy, safe, and in one piece. I can't believe you're going to go to Paris and I can't be there to see you. That really makes me feel a little sick. If things were different here for me, I would definitely be going to see you in Paris. I miss Paris and I need to go anyway. Having you there also would just make it more perfect than it and you already are...I really can't think about it anymore, it hurts my heart alot that I can't be there. Of all the places you've been and performed, that I missed, that's the one that hurts the most.

Well, back to you. Stay safe. Take care of yourself. I wanted to leave you but I can't because I love you too much. When I leave, it doesn't make the feelings go away. I'm kind of trapped I think. Oh, baby boy, please take good care of you. I worry about you when you are away from home. It's probably stupid but I worry more when you are out of the country and flying around all the time. I'll be thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers that God will protect you and keep you safe. I'm sure you'll have a blast. My poor darling, it's so much for so long. I don't know how you can bear it all non-stop without a real break. You're a strong boy. My boy, my toy. You're mine, you know. I'm yours also...you know that...if you want. And let me not forget to wish you congratulations and joy on your journey. I always want you happy and I always want the best for you, I love you so much, that will never change. I am so very proud of you and all that you have accomplished.

God bless you, my most precious doll baby boy. You mean the world to me. I carry you with me everywhere I go, all day everyday. You are never far from my mind and forever in my heart. I feel you in every beat. I'm going to leave you a message on AI later or tomorrow. I want to tell you some stuff.

All my love now, tonight, tomorrow, the next, yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever and a day...my love for you goes on and on infinitely. xo...

ADAM! I love you sooooo much!!!!! I had the chance to listen to tiny bits and pieces of tonight's show and caught the very end of 20th Century Boy...OMG, you are magnificent.

I am so excited to be seeing you on Thursday. Please sing that song again and please sing the slow version of WLL too. I know it's alot to ask and I know you didn't do that tonight or ever but I don't want to miss your new song and I never had the chance to see you do WLL, the slow version, that I adore! Please, Please, Please, pwitty, pweeze?

You didn't do it in the beginning of the tour. I don't think I am going to have the opportunity to see you again this tour and that's so sad BUT I'm not going to waste my time being sad about that now when I have Thursday to look forward to...I am so in love with you!

I'm going to post your TCB from tonight on my blog and add the link from a long time ago...gotta find it when I said that I thought you needed to do this song. NO ONE does it better...NO ONE! That was the best version I ever heard and it's only first time you did it on your tour! You're amazing...but, of course.

I am going to be running around like a lunatic tomorrow and Thursday before I get to you. I will be posting you a message here tomorrow and writing a note to send to your other account. I NEED to see you on Thursday!!!

On a completely different note, I heard that you are releasing Sleepwalker as your next single. Well, you know I love that song...I love the angels in the lightening storm...I love you...by the way, I still say it should have been NIGHTMARE...as opposed to DREAM...*cough* *cough* (or should I say "AHEM") but that wouldn't sound as nice.

Anyway, not that you care one iota what my opinion is about this BUT if you should read this and your final decision is not already made, I think you should choose AFTERMATH...if you are going to release a slow song...that song is a number 1 hit! That one will work and fly up the charts...besides you wrote that song with your friends....how amazing is that? That song is so beautiful. I just know that will do great on the radio. Please think about it.

If you are going to release another faster song also, I have to listen to them again. So far, you have released them in the order I would have chosen, so we must be on the same page about what will do well on the radio, to some degree. So far, all the choices have been great ones.

I think Sleepwalker will do okay but not as well as Aftermath would do. I have to think about it a little more but that's my first impression without going through the songs again. I know the songs but when I try to figure out what will do well on the radio, I listen to them over and over with that in mind and that's how I have decided in the past. I don't know. No matter what you choose, everything you sing is wonderful, all your songs are great, you are simply amazing. That voice of yours is truly a gift from God. It's spectacular, out of the ordinary, out of this world, just like you.

Btw, I will bearing gifts on Thursday...I need to give them to you...don't make me have to throw them at your head during Soaked...and trust me, I will be close enough to hit you square in that beautiful perfect manly jaw of yours, besides, I have excellent aim...trust me on that!

Don't force me to hit you when I only want to smooch your head off, my precious toy boy! You know it's true.

I love you always and forever...see ya tomorrow online, you magnificent creature you. Don't be a beast...just do as I say already, won't ya...we are both stubborn mules, you do realize that don't you?...I'm pretty sure that you do.

Sweetest of dreams, my beautiful little prince. xoxo...

P.S. Had to edit so I need to add before I forget...You are getting too SKINNY! You were never fat to begin with, I don't know what you were ever talking about, you're always perfect, perfectly you, the you I adore...but you were thinner to begin with when you started the tour and you are obviously getting thinner as the tour progresses. Your pants have very obviously gotten looser, which is fine, whatever is most comfortable for you BUTdon't lose anymore weight. Just keep using your Shake Weight for arm toning if you must...whatever...stay healthy...bottomline.

You look fabulous but I don't want you to get sick or rundown...you still have a long, long haul ahead of you...I don't know how you do it, honestly, but I love you for it.

Okay, ENOUGH rambling...for now. All my love, my love, always, forever, and a day. xoxo...

Get to me, safely, healthy, happy, and in one gorgeous piece...that's all I ask...and come home already, damn it! xoxo...

I love you, Adam. I'll be back later to leave something for you here. God bless, beautiful boy! xo...

Have a wonderful and joy filled day, precious doll baby!

good morning , adam ..

hahahahaa .. it's 8.30 a.m. here

Good Night Adam .. here 8 p.m.

Thank you, KittyKat for your kind words. I don't know what address you are referring to but I suppose if I get desperate enough, I will try that...for now, not that desperate. I hope all goes well for you though also.

Adam,

I just wrote you a long ass note that I sent to you at your AI id. Please go read it or I will be forced to attach a copy of the same aforementioned note to a stone which I will then be forced to hurl at you, at a rapid pace, as you sing Sleepwalker at one of your upcoming performances, as you will have left me no choice!

Very pretty in that outfit, btw, Mr. Matrix. And speaking of the Matrix, since I am presently living in the matrix and have been for about, oh I don't know, 14 months or so, can you please go read that message already. There's really no reason you can't pop your cute little ass over there for a minute and get it. And your little ass is very cute also, I may as well add, since we are on the subject.

Okay, I'm totally losing my mind. I had to wrap up some loose ends which included you before tomorrow when I proceed to sharpen my nose on the grind stone. I already have a very small nose so that ain't a good thing to begin with! Now, you have a nose that has obviously been sharpened...you can't get a more perfect nose than that...I just want to kiss the very tip of your nose...or maybe nip it. I'll decide when I get the chance.

Okay, that's it. Had some other stuff to post for you before I disappear on my grinding hiatus but I'm too tired now. I'll post them on my blog if I ever get around to it.

I love you. I miss you. I want you. I want to squeeze the stuffings out of you! I want to smoosh your head! Obviously, I am delirious. Stay well, pretty darling! I will be missing you everyday until whenever....Now GO read that message Damn It! Now! Mush! Mush! xoxo...

P.S. Btw, I think you should know that I not only have many loose ends to tie you up with but many other things to bind you with when I finally get my hands on you (which includes that cute little ass). So beware!

I am so gonna smooch your head!

@AdamsEpic, I hope things work out for you in your 'real life!' Please take care! If you want to contact Adam, you may want to do what I'm going to try, writing to his 19E fan site.

Adam, I swear this is it for a while. I just heard this song for the first time and it immediately made me think of you. Things are not good for me these days at home, in fact, they are very dire. I am really afraid that I'm not going to be able to fix everything/anything in time.

But just like this song says, when I feel overwhelmed, scared, tired, worried, happy, silly, sarcastic ... I run to you, where I feel safe. I know you have tons of friends and family that love you but if you ever needed somewhere to run to or someone to run to, I will always be here for you and I will always welcome you with arms wide open...any day, any hour, anytime, always.

So, now, especially now, when things are so bad and I'm so scared and worried...I'm coming running to you because I love you and just doing that makes me feel a little better even if it is only for a few seconds.

I love you so much, Adam. I miss you. I'm sad that I didn't get to see you while you are here. My heart belongs to you, sweet little doll boy. You will always be precious to me, no matter what the future may bring. Stay well while I'm gone and always. Stay safe and healthy. Get enough sleep. Guard your heart. When I can, I will be back and I need you to be here, safe, sound, happy, and well. I love you, love you, love you...always. xo...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OGS9_jW6KQ&feature=player_embedded

Oh, and one more thing...MARRY ME, ADAM! xoxo...