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Today is the first day, since last Thursday, that I haven't been with my mom, but she insisted I needed my own day to get myself together...and she's right, so much laundry to do and cleaning...of course no one else could do it while I was gone, but oh well, that's life. I have to return to work tomorrow, ugh!, but I'm grateful to have been able to support my mom during this very sad time.

My stepdad was a good man, he loved life, loved to be a "cowboy" when they lived out west - Idaho/Arizona - was once a police officer in Tampa, FL and proud Viet Nam veteran, medically retired from the military since his illness was diagnosed (COPD/lung cancer) 3 yrs ago, and he LOVED my mom so much...she was his life. He was 12 yrs younger than my mom, and we were teenagers when they met so we didn't stick around long, but they were together 37 yrs. He didn't have much family, his parents and only brother had previously died, so we were it.
He died at home on Feb 17th, when my mom was sleeping in another room, and though it may seem "creepy" at first, but I think he wanted it that way, rather than be in a hospital which would've been hard on my mom - she has bad arthritis in her knees and doesn't get around very well. This way, he was where he felt the most comfort in his life.

Those who live in MI, you know we had that big snowstorm on Sunday night, which was visitation night, so sadly not a lot of people could make it - three of my co-workers braved it though, that was sweet, including my boss who was awesome and told me to take all the time off I needed. My stepdad would've been so proud of the service on Monday (Edit: he was dressed in his military suit w/his badges and pins) - a full Honor Guard ceremony, roll-call, 21-gun salute, the flag folding...it was so awesome to witness, but heartbreaking too. We played "I Want To Be A Cowboy" by Toby Keith and "God Bless The U.S.A" by Lee Greenwood, his two favorite songs, at the service. I managed to get a few words out during the service, with my 2 sisters holding me up...reflecting on memories and his love for our country and, of course, my mom. It was hard, but I wanted to do it for my mom, and she loved it.

Now, my mom has believed in spiritual "visitations" for a long time, and I'd like to think it's true though a bit skeptical - but I have to tell you this: On Sunday, I was at mom's gathering up everything we were going to display at the funeral home. I had just set up a poster board for all the pictures, and I had a thought to go find Randy's (my stepdad) dogtags. I found them hanging on a hook in another room with all his other military memorabilia and when I walked out of the room, I caught a "scent" like a man-smell...I closed my eyes, stepped back and smelled it again. I thought it might be my imagination. After hanging the dogtags on the poster board, I placed it by the front door and when I turned around, I saw the pull-chain from the ceiling fan swinging back and forth, very fast. I hadn't touched it, there was no breeze, no fan on...nothing to have caused it to move. I called for mom to come look and we stared at it - it lasted for at least a minute, then stopped - she said to me "Randy's letting you know "Good job, kid".

I'm so glad I had the chance to see Randy a week before he died and hug him and tell him I loved him. He had grabbed my hand and said he loved me too, and it was strange, because I don't remember him ever grabbing my hand. He never once complained about how much pain he was in. We (my sisters and I) had promised him we would take care of my mom, and I think that gave him some peace.

I want to share with you three things I said at the service, that Randy would want you to know about him and certainly for all of us to do:
1) Be proud of our country, and the men and women who fight for us, for our freedom,
2) Be proud of your work - your occupation or hobby, whatever it is you like to do, and do your best, do it well - and be proud of your accomplishments...because he certainly was, and
3) Love the person or persons you are closest to in your life, with all your heart...because that's what he did.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. It makes me feel better to know there are good people in this world, and Randy was certainly one of them