The Mike Stand Thread in the Fourth Dimension
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009 - 09:25
The Mike Stand Thread in the Fourth Dimension
This thread is a FOURTH version of a thread that first saw the light of day on 29 August.
Exactly one month later, it was involved in a horrific accident with some low life with no life and nothing better to do than to destroy it. But...
"We can rebuild it, we have the technology (CMR New Zealand) and the Lifetime Warranty (donated by PCMom). We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic thread."
So it was rebuilt, only to be destroyed yet again 6 days later. But what the low life doesn't understand is that Mike Stand can withstand all such attacks because he simply stands tall. Not hard to do against someone who would stoop so low.
And then *yawn* it was destroyed again. So I rebuilt it again.
So here we are, the 4th Dimension:
One night in St Louis – 29 August 2009
Hi, Mike Stand here! Touched by your concern...I have finally decided to come online and tell you all about my experiences with Adam. Well...maybe not ALL, some it is rather private, after all.
But after my collapse in St Louis, I wanted to let you know how I'm doing. I was taken to hospital for a complete check up, because everyone finally realised I have been through A LOT on this tour.
After a thorough going over by the doctor (shame it wasn’t Adam), I was discharged. Adam was warned about handling me too roughly. I hope he doesn't listen. The truth is though, that is was Rock G Jacquet (Spikey to his friends – me and Adam) that was to blame. He got so carried away twirling around with Adam that he knocked me down. He didn’t mean to, and if I hadn’t been feeling faint because of what Adam had just done to me, I’d have remained standing.
Anyway, I'll be back with more juicy stuff soon but just wanted to tell you all that I'm doing fine and no, you can't take my place on the tour. It's MY JOB, all mine, though I know some of you would kill to take my place.
Here is my biography:
MY STORY - Pt 1
I was actually born into the landed gentry in the wilds of the north of England, the illegitimate offspring of the 1,328th Earl of Lard & Dripping. His half-witted wife didn’t notice I wasn’t hers and welcomed me into the family as one of her own. However, my upbringing was horribly strict but there was going to be no holding me back so I of course violently rebelled. At age 32 I said “erm…mater and pater…I’d like to leave home now…if it’s fine with you of course…and be a little independent, though I shall always bring my laundry home, I promise”.
Needless to say, this scandalous act of rebellion meant I was cut off from my parent’s inheritance and had to find a job. I headed west and found my first job in Wales with the Choir of St Bernadette’s Convent in Treorchy (8-12 year old girls section). It was an easy placement – I simply stood there in front of these angelic little girls, and was kept sparkly and shiny at all times. I felt clean. They always called me Mike and I had a strong sense of identity. Life was simple and straightforward.
All that changed when the choir folded, due to lack of interest.
My second placement was on the American Idol tour…between Adam’s legs.
My world was turned upside down…
MY STORY Part 2
Far away, I was taken far away from the people who couldn’t give a monkey’s a*** whether I live or die, and now find myself in a strange land (oh so very strange) in a different town in a different state each night.
My sense of identity has been trampled upon. Back in Wales, those choirgirls always called me Mike. I knew who I was. And then came Adam. No longer “Mike”, some nights I am “Baby”, some nights “Woman” (woman????? Have you ever seen such a stiff, hard, firm, steely woman??? Other than Madonna I mean?), I no longer know who I am. I am very confused.
My sense of decency has been sullied. I used to feel clean. Those choirgirls used to do a fine job of smoothing on the polish, rubbing it in and buffing me up till I sparkled. And if perchance they saw a smear, they would breathe their lilac-scented breath on me, and gently wipe me clean with their white cotton blouse sleeves. All so proper and fresh and … decent.
And then came Adam. With his hot hands. And his hot thighs. Every night I find myself clamped between one or the other. Now I know what the expression “between a rock and a hard place” means.
I’m on fire most of the time, or at the very least glowing – you’ve all seen the photos. No wonder I collapsed in St Louis. And at the end of his set each night, Adam just abandons me onstage to the tender mercies of a choirboy. At least by the end of it, I’m almost asleep and am carried to my bunk.
Other than 2 nights ago, I usually sleep on the band bus in a bunk I share with 2 speakers. While their woofers are pretty hefty (they have to be for the big venues we go to), they're not a patch on Adam's, and absolutely not a distraction. I always sleep soundly, wedged between the two of them.
Such is my life. But will you hear me complain? Um…ok…sometimes…but NOT ONE of you is taking my place! I will not leave Adam’s side…I mean crotch.
MY STORY - Part 3
Well Adam's triumphant tour is over! And what a wonderful time we had! But as the tour drew to a close, my fate was hanging in the balance as some talked of melting me down to make some other accoutrement for Adam (I'd consider being his chastity belt but nothing else!). And Adam himself suggested that Rock G.Jacquet (my pal Spikey) could be cleaned and auctioned! Oh the wailing and bawling from Spikey! I did my best to wipe his tears away but I have to be careful about rusting.
But then...the NEWS!! We were going back to LA!!!!!
We still don't know our long-term future, but Adam had us sent back to LA so we'd be here when he got back from Michigan!
Can't tell you much more now, but at least the 3 of us are together. Spikey's so happy, he's not blue anymore.
Of course there is a fourth element in the equation, who puts a spanner in the works somewhat. No...he really does put a spanner in ....literally! Our first night back in LA, when he thought everyone was asleep, that fourth element (I'm sure I don't need to pronounce his name, we'll call him Beryllium since that's the 4th element in the periodic table, Beryl for short) crept up to me with a spanner and tried to dismantle me! Jealousy is an ugly thing.
Fortunately, Spikey had his eyelets open and saw what was happening and launched himself at Beryl, wrestling him to the ground. In the morning Adam couldn't understand why Beryl had spike indentations all over him.
Of course, we haven't told Adam what happened yet. Me and Spikey need to think carefully about this since Adam cares about Beryl. All ideas welcome.
But we are so overjoyed to be back home with Adam!
MY STORY - Part 4
Well, Beryl's gone, much to Spikey's relief. The two never hit it off, though they did hit each other once - Beryl stupidly aimed at Spikey's spikes...a very unwise move. Perforated knuckles are not a good look.
Since Beryl left Spikey hasn't been on AO much. He's been happy to stay in the warm cocoon of our home, practising his reading, waiting for me and Adam to get back.
I've been VERY busy with Adam, recording his incredible album then rehearsing his upcoming performances. If his idea to have fire on stage at the AMAs comes to fruition I may be saying a premature goodbye to you all as I die a very HOT death onstage. Mind you, if I have to shuffle off this mortal coil I'd rather die mid-scream and ablaze with passion being mishandled by Adam than mid-yawn and overcome by boredom being handled in the conventional way by ... someone else.
Adam Adam Adam Adam Adam Adam Adam - there is no one else worth talking about here. This is Adam's site.
My dream (soon to be reality)
http://www.adamofficial.com/us/photos/mike-stand-walk-fame
Some art by Essell
http://www.essell.mattijarvenpaa.com/Wallpapers/146_1680x1050.jpg
http://www.adamofficial.com/node/771194
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Love overcomes hate. Love has no colour. Love has no orientation. All is love.
Replies for this Forum Topic
Bumping your gorgeous stickiness back to page 1!
Pleeeeeease come back soon, Mikey!! Got so much to tell ya!! Get to see you boys in New Orleans!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Hope you're having fun on the tour! Love ya!!!!
.
Dear Mike Stand......The holiday home is not visited often because you are all travelling so much these days - no time for to relax! I've been trying to update there but the filter on AO is currently not accepting it. I will keep trying - you ARE remembered! With new US tour about to commence....I understand if we don't hear from you for a while...but when you can PLEASE come and visit here!
P.S.((((Hugs))))) to you & Rock G. Jacquet (Spikey)!
OMFG!!!!!! i am totally laffin my a** off! "rock and a hard place!" you are too freakin funny. thanks for the atomic LOL!
carter
Hey, Mikey! Finally found your home on page 5!
Had to bump it back to page 1. I don't get on here much anymore...no internet at home now, so have to find wifi at McDonalds. lol We miss you! We can still post on twitter from our phone, but it doesn't like AO.
Hope you're not working too hard with BB! Come back and say Hi when you get a chance. Love ya! 
Mikeyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! So glad you're ok! Missed you!
I loved the GlamKilt, also. Hope you and BB have a safe trip home! Try not to work too hard...you guys need to sleep! 
What an adventure! After the indignities I suffered by having to walk upside down in Oz and eat seaweed in Japan, we got to England (aahh, the old country) only to be whisked straight up to the frozen wastes north of the border and have a spiked sporran scratch my shiny shaft while Adam's sticky fingers smeared Marmite all over me. Yuk! As for Germany and Sweden, it was such a whirlwind tour that I barely noticed them.
Oh please don't think I'm complaining, it was very sweet of Adam to take me with him on his travels, and the GlamKilt was one of my greatest pleasures, but he enjoyed them far more than I did. He loved seeing different countries and especially meeting different nationalities. And wearing a skirt.
My favourite part was the few days we had in London before the work started. London's funny - makes me go all tingly and buzzy. I think it must have an electric energy.
But it's back home tomorrow. Nice. We'll be rehearsing a lot for the Canada shows so I won;t be around much, and in fact it's all go as we then come back to Europe a couple of weeks later. I hope Adam's got rid of that spiked sporran by then. The kilt, on the other hand....
cool!
Nothing wrong with seaweed. But if you start to crave some meat....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIcn5td9T60
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-xeeLbxja4
I've missed chatting to you all so much but I have been able to read your messages. I just couldn't write.
. When we got to Australia, I thought I'd get used to being upside down. After all, Adam, Monte and Longineu seemed to adapt straight away but for me it was horrible. I tried typing tweets but all my words came out sdrawkcab (like that one). And lots of humans seemed to be saying stuff that I found very backwards too. I mean humans on the internet, not Aussie humans.
Then I thought we'd get to Singapore and everything would be ok but it's taken 3 days for my brains cells to float back up from my base to my head.
But now I'm back to normality (in Japan), only to find that Monte and Longineu have gone. That's good in a sense, I'll have Adam all to myself, but I'll miss them, we've had some good times. Adam won't need me that much now but he didn't want to send me home. Such a sweet friend...
Thank you all for your thoughtful messages, I adore you all. Now if I stop writing again it's because the Japanese tried to make me eat seaweed.
Mike dear, please come tell us you how you are doing. I know I am not the only one who is extremely worried about you.
*sniff* Miss seeing your wonderful tweets, and beautiful posts on here. You put into words what no one else could, and pointed out the truth in a way everyone could swallow and deal with. Miss the playful conversations we got into on Twitter...you had me ROFLing many times! 
I love you dearly, Sir Mike, and hope you're doing well...when you get a chance, please drop in and say hello. 
Til then, have wonderful days with BB downunder(watch those boxers and kangaroos! lol), and lovely nights filled with nice, large "snowmonster" dreams. 
P.S. Tell Spikey we miss him, too...exquisite Jaquet! Do you know what his fate is, yet? Will BB truly....*gulp*....donate him? Hope Beautiful Adam checks with him first...not sure how our spiked friend would handle being donated!
.
I need a Mike Stand to prop me up after sinking down due to an upsidedown smile resulting from not being able to see Adam in Australia .... so close and yet so far away..... not only that the possibility of not seeing friends like Mike Stand and Mister Spot Lite and what about Spikey..... Spikey, the one I used to stand up for after all those nights of being dumped on the ground by Adam during the Idol tour... and now we never hear from him (sigh, sniff, sad sob) ...life just isn't the same anymore - the Universe so inconsiderate of any thoughts and feelings we might have for Adam Lambert and his great accompanying team!!!
I may as well go and bury myself in a big fluffy pillow in the pillow-fight room, even if I get zapped by Mr Spot Lite, I can take refuge there??!
Mike, I have a new name on twitter. @realnottooldyet This was courtesy of @GlamUlli! but I don't see you any where! not on twitter and certain;y not here!
Mikestand~ Good stuff!!! And a good lesson about PW's......just like lending money to friends. Not a good practice!! Sure that twitter will be up and flying in no time!!
A pressie for you to help pass the time *smiley*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1xI4JKcWiM
Hi Mikey! just wanted to let you know that I am on twitter now! I am following you and Spot but not as nottoldyet cause that was taken. I am @eyeheartglam! Hope you will be there more than here, miss you guys!
Hi cmr! I was trying to post something in my Wonderful Pets thread today and got spammed too!! So I 'll try to hand type the whole thing! come check it out if you have a minute.
.
Just had to come here and post a few messages:
Mike Stand - U know I adore your Avi!!!
Mr Spot Lite - Your Avi certainly brightens and lightens things up.
In a really FRIENDLY frame this evening and have added Lambritetty, Lefluffball as a friends! Nottooldyet, PC MOM, Mike & Spot & Spikey have long since been added.
For all of you who have "Why I am a Fan" - your stars have increased!
Thanks for having made my days brighter friends!
I would some happy smiley faces here but this evening whenever I do that the system tells me its being treated as spam and won't accept my post. But they are there, friends, silently smiling at you all!
Michael Lard & Dripping Stand!! Finally caught up with you! I think you should change your middle name to reflect Spikey. Mike S. Stand! ....or MSS for short........kind of like a ship?.........soooo worried that you got tired of tweeting....who would want to playwith you that way?....so go on from here, ...new name...new followers....new tweets.....that's all.If I can shed any light your way......just tweet me little buddy.
No one here....**sniff**
So sorry Mikey about your twitter! I'm now following you again.
.
MUAH!!! Replied to you in your other post!
Oh that's ok CMR, that pic of Beryl made me laugh anyway. I just didn't show it to Spikey.
But I'm here for other reasons. Terrible news. I need to post it in a few places so that my friends see it.
I'm completely gutted - my Twitter got deleted! After being used by someone else.
It was used yesterday by someone I thought I could trust. I stupidly let them borrow my laptop. That's what you do when you've only got 3 braincells. It looks like they looked in my documents too and used information from them.
They sent DMs from my Twitter then deleted the account (my password must have been too obvious). I'm still trying to find out what they sent. If anyone received stuff from me, please let me know. Glambvis, GlamRockGodUK , got stuff. Am trying to get in touch with her.
I have set up a new account @AdamsMikeStand2
*sniff*
.
I amended the post below because.... well um er I had attached the wrong picture to CHEER you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
SPIKEY would have definitely not appreciated a picture of Beryl!!! Now my brain cells appear less than your's as a result (about 7.5) because I don't remember the picture I was supposed to paste there...... but it could have been these:
Hey, Mike Stand... you are not the only one shuffling in embarrassed....
http://twitpic.com/11b8y8
http://twitpic.com/11b8vq
I better check this time, once I have saved !
(Phew, wipes brow! Spot On!)
*shuffles in embarrassed*
I know, I know, it's been such a long time. Oh guys if you knew how busy life has been. Well you do know, with all the TV appearnaces, and shows and interviews and Adam's birthday. I wasn't working at his birthday party but I was a guest of course! I stood at the side of the room most of the time, just observing. I could have caused safety issues if I'd tried to mingle with the guests, but human watching was just as much fun. Besides, the drink was flowing and I had to be careful not to get it on me or you know what happens...
CMR, yes I observed that little threesome. Thank goodness my brain is so little I can't remember the thoughts that flitted through it at the time.
If sometimes I disappear for a few days, it's usually busy-ness. There's going to be more and more of that soon. We're going to start rehearsing for Fantasy Springs very soon, aren't we Spot. And then LOTS to prepare for our international travels. But there is something VERY exciting coming up here in the US that I can't tell you yet. Pease keep this to yourselves for the moment guys.
.
Hmmm.... either at a stand-still, frozen stiff by the cold snow; or in his excitement to visit friends in greener pastures, prematurely packed in a box to travel to the UK (or practicing for the long journey); overworked by Adam at all these interviews that ALReference has been tweeting and retweeting, or stuck in the closet with Rock G.Jacquet (Spikey) suffering from dustmitis?????
Hello, heelllllooooo.... Mike Stand, amongst the living still???
Bumping Mikey too! maybe he'll come out of the cold and visit us soon! Fantasy Springs in Ca. may not be all that warm this time of year! Going to have to stay really close to Adam as a leg warmer!
OK Mike....you're starting to scare me now, did you go into the 5th dimension?............NOT gonna break in a new mic stand for Fantasy Springs on the 27! Adam told me so! If you are still worried about that UK week visit, should be just fine to go home and see those WONDERFUL Brit fans....I'll keep watch over you.
Hi to Mikey, too! lol Hope you got to spend some time with Adam today. What's this about Spikey putting you in a gift-wrapped box?
Heya, Mike!
Hope you're doing ok. 
Spot got me posting on here again. lol Tell Adam we all say a big Happy Birthday! 
.
Mike Stand ..... I hear Spikey had wrapped you in a box with gift wrap and ribbon (using his two sleeves of course) as a gift to Adam for his Happy Birthday?!
May Mr Spot Lite shed some light on this?! Heard also that Spikey wanted to be gift wrapped too, but who was left to undertake the deed?
What/why is it, that in this life Rock G Jacquet (Spikey) has seemingly attracted a life of constant discardment and being left out and all alone in, and seemingly neglected in, a moth-ball-itis creating closet?! I shall send a tweet to Adam that he has to take you three with him on his UK tour!
.
I hope Mike Stand is not being worn out! Been a while since being here and so many events happening - can't be much fun being packed in a box often travelling here there and anywhere ..... but hey at the end of the day all that counts is being in the hands of Adam, is it not?!!!
It's true Spot - the shows and the entertainers would not be the same without you - can't imagine you not being around centre-stage - unless there is a blown fuse, which must happen from all the regular wattage use - heaven forbid, it would look like your wearing globe-liner!!!! I've seen coloured light globes but not sure that I have seen black-out ones too often, only those that have shortened life, usually due and at the hands of someone who overloaded the system and didn't know what they were doing!
Wherever you all are, Mike, Spot, Spikey (long-lost-Spikey who must be suffering terribly from moth-ball-itis and rusted eyelets from tears of aloneness in a closet - Dear Friend many MISS YOU!!!) : there is someone, all the way over the otherside of the world globe thinking of you three muchly - the Superstars behind the Superstar!
Hey...shinny stick!...you in? Adam did well for Ellen today..huh? of course we taped it last Thursday so Monte could be in NYC for that Haiti telethon with Madonna on Friday night. She was great with him.....they are such long time friends. He is also doing a solo gig tonight in LA somewhere. Did he tell you? It is good that he is venturing out and getting some more recognition...it must hard to always be behind the front person singing and watching them get famous, then he must stay in the background.......I don't think I could do that when I have always been centerstage right up there with whom ever.....and you Mike, you get to be there also, but not much praise!! The fans here do give us their love enough to make up for it.
Hi Mikey! You were on the second page too! You haven't been here either as Spot hasn't. Ellen is on today for her b-day and you all are performing Strut! Can't wait to see you guys again!
Hey Mike, wasn't that quality in Doug's Gridlock video excellant? I sent him a tweet about being grateful that he is watchin over all of us!
.
Hmmm something very strange - I definitely remember you posting a greeting for NY.... I've just looked in at other threads and saw your Christmas greeting but not a NYE one...... someone or something must have been hungary and gobbled it up..... (not me!)..... we must have all been getting tired at the end of 2009!!!
Well not only did I lose that NYE post I'm sure I wrote but it seems I lost some of my IQ a few days ago, hence my inability to write anything since then. However, while looking for a wingnut that fell off me earlier today, I came across the mislaid components of my IQ stuffed down the side of the settee.
I can't think how they got there. Maybe Spikey hid them there so that we'd be on the same intellectual level. I must say I've felt less...sharp these past few days.
Anyway, my IQ is now fully restored to its original lofty heights of 8.
I hope all my human and non-human friends are doing well.
Oh Mikey....Mikey....Mikey...I guess you got all fouled up from the Gridlock bash! Adam did handle you very gently at times....but he WAS drinking... Maybe he shorted out something in that metal physique stature or yours with those rinestones that he rubbed off on you? btw you looked quit glamly!
Haha. lol
No, of course I didn't take your post...I wouldn't do anything like that, would I? lol And for what it's worth, I was sure I saw you post a Happy New Year message...maybe we had the same dream? Oh well.....Happy already started New Year to you, too! 
What?? What happened??? Did I dream that I came here and posted a Happy New Year message to you all? But wait...mic stands don't dream. So why was I so sure I'd posted and if I'm so certain, where is that post? Spot, did you hide it? CMR, is it lost in all your fleecy wool? Fluffity, you wouldn't have taken it, not a sweet, caring, funny, "normal" girl like you! Your sister on the other hand...she probably cooked it with peanut butter and sardines.
Well...as I can't find that post, here's another.
HAPPY not so NEW anymore YEAR, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And thank you everyone for your new year wishes. Yes I had a fab time at Gridlock. Adam and I had some great dances together through the evening, even though WLL was different this time.
Yes DragonSnores, as LeFluffball said, there never has been and never will be a usurper. I am Adam's one and only. Well..his one and only mic stand. He does of course have many other 'one and onlys' in many different categories.
No, no! Mikey was with Adam at Gridlock. Adam wouldn't have any reason to use another microphone when he already has the best one there is!
Was Mike Stand with Adam on Gridlock or was his place taken by usurper
?
Spot!!! I knew you were a ladies man, but even that flusey which we can all see was there to get a reaction out of Adam and who ever else she had her eyes on...anyway. Hi Mikey!! Are you okay? Did you have a good time? Is the news that pcmom says might be true? second job? better come put out the fire!! (rumors)
Happy New Year Mike....you're going to have some great times with Adam in 2010. Can't wait to see what all you and Adam have planned for the future.
Hey Mike....are you still enjoying the thrill of Adam all over you from Friday? He sure did missed you by the way he had a glambulge and was stradling you quite a bit again....hehehehe....but then after being introduced by that blonde boomboma.....wow...she practically dropped those bucsooms in his hands!! That would make any man get a rise gay or straight!!
I just wanted to say....you did great! It is very hard to stand there when everyone is moving and dancing and making out in the audience. Not to mention drinking.....so glad Spikey wasn't there...Adam ripped the hell out of that jacket he wore! Wouldn't want to see Spikey hurt that way!
.
Sigh...... I think Mike Stand has gone to an un-numbered Infinite Dimension after the NYE performance ...........
Hi Mikey! You did great at Gridlock! I saw you and your micliner again! Adam was in good form with you. Bet it felt good to be all his again?! And for 45 min!!!
**
Just stopping by to wish you a Happy New Year..Hope 2010 finds you performing lots of concerts and other performances with Adam! I can't wait to see what's in store for all of us fans!...
BTW you and Adam were amazing tonight at Gridlock!
See you around.
Stinggirl
bumping for Mike since he's working (playing) so hard with Adam and Spot for new years!
http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx183/O-Chase/NewYear.gif
@strutter50, you can post here too! always nice to have a new opinion of things going on! Mikey...can't say I'm not terribly dissappointed about NYE, but I am going to the thread hotforadam has set up to cellcast the event. Looks like a great party is taking place there. The only trouble with me is all is happening in Ca. at 12:00 and I will be at home by 3:00 for me already done celebrating! Guess cmr and us east coasters will have to catchup on Friday. Good luck you guys!
You have a wonderful thread going! Keep up the great work I enjoy reading all the posts.
@PCMom and CMR - Well, we found out that Gridlocked won't be on TV after all. Sad for all the fans that can't go but don't worry because it will be on that interweb thingy somehow - Spot said so. I don't understand technology but something to do with a stream. I thought that was like a little river but Spot said it's not.
@Fluffyenuff - You always say the nicest things.
@nottoooldyet - everyone wants to look like Adam. But none of us will ever come close. His beauty and handsomeness is unmatchable!